Jonathan Cummings
Mrs. Walden
British Literature
17 January 2014
The Jewels of Svenskia
This
story takes place in the country of Svenskia during the year 1903. Svenskia was
a small nation—only about 300 square miles in size—that bordered Italy, the
Mediterranean, and what is now modern-day Slovenia. During this time, Svenskia
was governed by the royal Kuterski family, known for their golden blond hair
and extravagant lifestyle. In fact, Svenskia was entirely known for its rather
outlandishly elaborate parties.
This year, however, was of special importance.
For the king’s daughter—Natalia—was turning 18, which was the minimal age
required for royalty to marry in Svenskia. Now the king, Ruslan the faithful,
had seven wives—not all at once obviously—before he was blessed with a child,
and now—being the age of 82—was desperate to find a competent successor to marry
his daughter before his death. And it was because of this desperation that
Ruslan found it necessary to create the largest party in all of Svenskian
history. There would be exotic entertainment, food of the finest make, and
napkins of the finest make! Yes! But that was not enough. No, the king needed
an “ace in the hole” to assure this party would appeal to a younger generation
of suitors. The king decided that the Royal Svenskian Jewels—which were among
the most prized treasures in all of Europe--were to be displayed at the party.
This
news shocked Nations across all of Europe. The Royal Jewels hadn’t been
revealed to the public in hundreds of years! Wealthy men and women from across
the globe all wanted the once in a lifetime chance to see such valuable
treasure. And so our tale begins.
In
a small Svenskian village a day’s ride from the capital, a strange gentleman
had stopped by the local inn. The man’s name was Charles Quest, a curious
fellow, who few knew much about. And, as his name implied, Mr. Quest was on a
mission—as to what his mission was, I’m completely ignorant—but it was
obviously quite important because he had no intention of returning home until
his mission was complete.
Charles—weary
from his travels—decided to retire for the night and went to his room. As he
opened the room door, Charles found two men arguing about some strange and
obscure topic.
“Wouldn’t it make sense just to
barge into it till it breaks?” said the first who, quite frankly, immensely
resembled Mr. Quested.
“No you idiot!” said the other
“You’d wake the whole town doing that! Now the proper way to do it is…”
In the middle of this astounding theoretical
debate, Charles suddenly fell to the ground. It seems the sheer shock of seeing
the two men fighting in his room caused him to have a stroke and die almost
instantly. The two men began to panic.
“Ed! What in the name of Kutar did
you do?!”
“I didn’t do anything! He just
plopped out on the ground, I swear it wasn’t me! We gotta get the police…”
“The police! Are you mad?! They’ll
think we did! What we gotta do is ditch the body…”
These
fine examples of Svenskian education are brothers Edward and Dirk Mudalski. The
eldest brother, Dirk, leads this unorthodox due and thinks himself the smarter
of the two. His younger brother, Edward, is a pleasant, handsome young fellow
who, sadly, is often coerced into helping with his brothers foolish schemes.
“What
did I do to deserve this?” exclaimed Dirk with a distraught tone. “All I did
was come back here looking for my pocket watch, and this guy walks in and dies
on us.”
“Hey
Dirk, check out this note he dropped,” said Edward with in a confused manner.
“Hey!
Let me see it!”
Quested,
I
am pleased to hear your journey was safe. I’m glad that you were able to make
it in time for the party even with all the complications hindering your
journey. We shall meet on the eastern balcony of the royal palace at exactly
8:45. I shall explain the plan to steal the treasure to you there. Make sure
you wear the hat I sent you, or I may not recognize you.
Garnet
“Wait, isn’t Garnet that famous criminal who tried
stealing Britain’s Crown Jewels a few years ago?” exclaimed Edward with a hint
of shock.
At
that moment, Dirk felt a rush of excitement. He realized this man must have
been recruited by Garnet to help with one of the greatest heists in all of history.
If he could disguise himself as Mr. Quested, He and his brother could apprehend
the famed criminal and become famed heroes! The usually pessimistic Dirk began
felling a strange sense of pride, because the world that he once thought to
oppose him—some may argue for good reason—was soon to praise him as a god! But
how was he to disguise as this Mr. Quested when he didn’t resemble him in the
slightest? This question was bothering Dirk, that is, until he took a brief look
at his brother…
“Ed,”
said Dirk with a calm, yet devious voice, “I think I found the perfect way out
of this particular predicament.”
While
may have Edward seemed slow witted, he was actually quite perceptive, and it
didn’t take long for him to realize what his brother was planning.
“No,
no way. I’m not gonna be part of another one of your crummy plans,” stated Edward.
“But
my plan’s fool proof!”
“No”
“Will
become rich and live the rest of our lives as Svenskia’s greatest heroes!
“I’m
not doing it.”
Dirk
paused for a moment.
“Natalia
will be there…”
Edward’s
heart skipped a beat. A chance to meet Natalia, princess of Svenskia! Not only
was Natalia the most beautiful maiden in all of Eastern Europe, she also
happened to be Edward’s self-proclaimed true love. Granted, Svenskia wasn’t
known for its bounty of eye-catching women, but this didn’t change the fact
that Edward had loved her since he first saw her picture at age twelve. His
resolve of steal was quickly melted by the fiery heat of desire.
“What
do you need me to do,” said Ed with a very sudden change of heart.
Natalia
observed the serene countryside from the royal palace’s eastern balcony. She often
went there when something was on her mind. Natalia knew her father was desperate
to marry her off, and, quite honestly, she was enthralled by the chance of
meeting her one true love, even if it meant being rushed into a marriage so
soon. The unquenchable longing to fall in love enveloped her very being. She merely
hoped to meet a simple man—and by simple she meant handsome, polite, exciting, charismatic,
etc. —who would treat her with the utmost tenderness and love.
“I
can’t wait,” announced Natalia. “Tonight I’ll meet the man of my dreams!”
As
she finished her incredibly inspirational declaration, the royal butler, Hans, whose
only joy in life was to mock foolish remarks made by the youthful, entered the
room.
“The
King requests your presence in the ballroom,” said Hans in his usual emotionless
manner.
Embarrassed
that her proclamation was heard aloud, Natalia replied with a simple “of course”
and proceeded to enter the ballroom.
Entering
the ballroom, Natalia was taken aback by the incredible atmosphere. There were entertainers
from across the globe and food of unimaginable quality. Even the napkins were
of Asia’s finest silk! And at the center of the room, was the royal jewels.
Sapphires, emeralds, rubies, even diamands could be found among the impressive
collection of gems. There had been hundreds of grand parties throughout Svenskian
history, but they all paled in comparison to this year’s party.
“Happy
birthday!” said King Ruslan to his daughter.
“Oh
father,” exclaimed Natalia bursting with delight, “I can’t put into words the
joy I’m feeling right now!”
“You
flatter me dear. Nothing’s too great for my wonderful daughter.” The king
paused for a moment, “by the way, have you found any… potential suitors yet? There
are plenty of young men hear, I’m sure at least one is qualified for the
position.”
“Sorry
father, I just arrived a few moments ago, but I promise by the end of the night
I’ll have found the perfect gentleman.”
“Of
course, of course,” said the King in high spirits, “just be sure to give me a
name by the end of the night,” the King stopped for a moment, “and don’t be
afraid to have a good time. It is your party for Kutar’s sake!”
It
was eight o’clock at night, and the party was in full motion. Edward and Dirk
had just arrived at the palace by wagon—kindly donated by the fine man once
known as Charles Quested—and were preparing to put their plan into motion.
“Alright
Ed, I’m only gonna say this once so listen up. The plan is you go and meet
Garnet at exactly 8:45 on the balcony. Once he tells you his plan to steal the
jewels, come back to the ballroom and tell me what he’s planning. From there,
we’ll take further action.”
Like
any rational person, Edward asked “But what if something goes wrong?”
Dirk
simply replied, “If you need help, discreetly wave your hand so I can see it. I’ll
assume the man nearest to you is Garnet, and I’ll improvise.”
Edward
didn’t feel reassured, but it was too late to back out. He and his brother
passed through the front gate under the identities of gentleman “Charles Quest”
and Swedish diplomat “Joven Hanzlak”. The peculiar duo entered the main hall
and—being of humble upbringings—stood in awe of the magnificent party set
before them. The brothers compared what they saw with what they imagined to be
the very courts of heaven.
After
spending a few minutes feasting like kings and drinking like thirsty elephants—nothing
alcoholic of course—“Joven” and “Charles” put their plan into action. While Dirk
was waiting in the ballroom keeping an eye on the royal treasure, Edward began
his search for the eastern balcony.
It
was around 8:30, and Edward still couldn’t find the eastern balcony. He
struggled navigating the enormous castle and—being too afraid to ask for
directions—was forced to wander around aimlessly. When Edward finally reached
the balcony, he was surprised to find, not a mysterious and dangerous looking
man, but a beautiful young lady with golden blonde hair. It was Natalia
Kuterski, princess of Svenskia! Edward tried to leave before he was noticed,
but it was too late.
“Who’s
there?” said a somewhat startled Natalia.
“Oh,
uh, just a guest stepping out for some fresh air, but I, uh, should be getting
back,” exclaimed Edward, trying to make a quick escape.
“Wait
a moment, there’s no way you’d come all the way out here just for a breath of
fresh air.”
“Well
I was, um, going to meet, uh, someone so I should probably go, um, do that…”
“Oh,”
said Natalia with a slightly disheartened voice, “that truly is a shame, I was
hoping you could accompany me on a walk around the palace.”
A
walk. Princess Natalia, the woman of Edward’s dreams, just asked to go on a
walk with him. Just a few days ago, Edward would have been lucky even to see
her publicly, let alone talk to her for an extended period of time! Edward was
parted: either meet with Garnet and stop the royal jewels from being stolen, or
spend the night talking with the woman of his dreams. Fighting back every urge
to agree to Natalia’s offer, Edward decided that protecting the honor of his
country was far more important than chasing his own desires.
“I
would be honored to accompany you on a walk!” said Edward, completely going
back on everything he was determined to do.
“Wonderful!
But by any chance, would you care to tell me your name?”
“Of
course. My name is Edward...”
It
was almost 10:15, and Dirk was starting to worry about his brother. He hadn’t
seen or heard from Edward since he left to meet Garnet.
“I
knew I should’ve gone with him,” thought Dirk. “He wasn’t ready to talk with a
professional criminal! I gotta find him.”
Suddenly,
Dirk saw his brother walk back into the main room. Immediately, a wave of
relief overtook Dirk, but there was strange man close behind Edward. He seemed
to be following him, but Dirk didn’t want to draw any conclusions. A few
moments later, Edward waved! It was obvious that the man behind him was Garnet.
He saw Edward leaving the room and the strange man follow behind. Dirk had to
act fast. He followed the stranger out of room, tailing just far enough away to
remain unnoticed. When no other guest were in sight, Dirk grabbed a candle stick
and knocked the stranger in the back of the head. Edward—who happened to be
nearby—came running in.
“What
in the name of Kutar did you do?!” shouted Edward.
“Well,
you gave me the signal, so I just assumed…”
“I
never gave you a signal!”
“Yes
you did, just a moment ago you waved your hand in the air.”
Edward
paused briefly before saying, “I was waving to Princess Natalia…”
“Princess
Natalia! Don’t tell me you spent all night fraternizing with her royal highness
instead of tracking down the world’s most infamous criminal!”
“Um…”
“Stop
right there,” shouted a palace guard, “you’re under arrest!”
Immediately,
four guards appeared, apprehended Dirk and Edward.
“What
did we do?” said Dirk in a rather feeble manner.
“Entering
a royal party under false identities,” replied the guard.
“This
is all just a big mistake, please let us just speak to the king…” tried Edward.
“Silence!
You have committed a crime punishable by death and shall be judged accordingly.”
“Wait!”
screamed Natalia who, quite conveniently, happened to be waking by as the
arrest was taking place. “As the Princess of Svenskia, I order you to let them
plead their case before the king.
“But
your highness…”
All
it took was Natalia giving the guard a simple glare, and Dirk and Edward were
brought before the king. The ballroom became completely silent, and all the
guests quietly watched as the king questioned the two brothers.
The
King—not one for idle chat—simply asked, “Who are you, and what are you doing here?”
Dirk
stood up and told a slightly less incriminating version of the truth, “My name
is Dirk and this is my brother, Edward. We were nothing more than simple
traveling merchants in the land of Svenskia, until the fateful day we found Mr.
Quested. We don’t know much about him except that he was dead before we could
meet him. Anyways, my brother and I found a note linking him to a heist
involving both the Svenskian Royal Jewels and the famed thief Garnet. So we
figured we could catch Garnet and protect the Jewels…”
“And
why should I, King Ruslan the Faithful sovereign ruler of all 50,000 Svenskian
citizens, believe you.”
At
that moment, one of the guards burst into the ballroom and said, “We found a
man collapsed on the ground! And he confessed to being the famed Garnet!”
“But
how?!” said the king, who was in quite the state of confusion.
“I
hit him on the head with a candlestick,” proclaimed Dirk with a good bit of
confidence.
“So,
not only did you risk your lives to protect Svenskia’s greatest treasure, but
you also captured the world’s most notorious thief?” pointlessly asked the king.
“I
guess we did,” stated the terribly confused Edward.
“Then
by Kutar, you’re the biggest heroes in Svenskia since… well since Svenski
founded the place!”
Soon after, Edward and Natalia—by the
grace of author writing this darn story—were married, making Edward king of all
of Svenskia, and Dirk ended up living a life of easy as Edward’s personal
advisor. And so ends the tail of a small fictional country whose population is
probably not much larger than your local communitys.
